The Broad Running Broad

You know those memes that got big around 2010 about drinking coffee because “I can sleep when I’m dead?” Once upon a time in my life I subscribed to that mentally. I liked to think I was active and ambitious then, a real go-getter who had all this energy to grab the universe by the balls and never get tired. Well okay, never let anyone think I was tired. Which was accomplished via caffeine and spackled-on under eye concealer.

Then I got older. Early 20s energy is notorious for being fleeting, and 30-something Allison stopped wearing concealer a while ago so the dark circles are kinda like those highway billboards on I-70s – there, part of the landscape and definitely not hiding.

And I had to admit to myself the constant state of busy-ness was me coping with my own feelings of inadequacy. But then I tried to add a spiritual slant to it by saying I was being productive or fruitful, until I had to admit to myself again that calling it “being fruitful” sounded kinda pretentious and I wasn’t really helping myself.

Yet the irony of dropping the desire to be busy is that somehow, my daily life managed to get busier anyway.

This May has been one for the books. I was job searching and started a new job this month. I had three half marathons within a month of each other (April 22nd, May 7th, May 21st – holy crap, I didn’t plan that out well), and I had a slight uptick in familial obligations that required me to head back to my hometown for a bit.

To use a common running metaphor, I hit the wall this month with the last 10k to go, finishing the race with a run-walk-shuffle with a side of dehydration and a hankering for bananas, since I’m already feeling a bit bananas as-is so why not.

I just realized the banana part is pretty nonsensical. I’m still leaving it though. Anyways …

The other day I was talking to Mom and she made a comment about this being a busy month. It didn’t really hit me until this past Sunday morning, when I woke up at 5:30 to feed Marina and then fell back asleep until 8-ish. It’s pretty rare for me to sleep past 7 a.m. unless I’m sick, so sleeping until 8 and still being sleepy all day? It’s safe to say I was needing the rest after all.

So I did that. I lollygagged, then dilly-dallied around all morning. I had this idea I was going to deep-clean and the mental schedule in place for getting it all done, although I didn’t actually start my chores until noon. I got the big tasks accomplished, but most of the day was spent on the couch with Marina scrolling Instagram.

That’s one of the funny things about being tired and taking sleepy/lazy days. There’s always a little voice back there that likes to try and guilt-trip me, as though I have to justify to the universe why I’m not washing my hair or skipping the gym or not tackling some more labor-intensive chores that day. I’d be a liar if I said it’s not tempting to give in to that little voice, to spend time arguing with myself to try and alleviate misplaced guilt.

And then Marina decided she needed to be the center of attention. So I told the stupid voice to shut up, nestled down further into the couch and snuggled Marina when I wasn’t nodding off.

Reader-friends, spending the day loafing around was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made all month. It gave me the rest I needed for the busy Monday of Memorial Day …. going to the gym in the morning and then spending the afternoon at the pool, where I caught up with an old friend and got to take my long-awaited sun nap. Hard times indeed.

So knights and dames, I guess the real point of this blog is if you’re needing some down time, take the down time. Rest does the human body and soul a lot of good.

Yours in writing and life,

Allison