The Broad Running Broad

Does it seem like human interaction and society as a whole has stopped being polite and traded that with condescending mean-spiritedness?

I remember growing up where being mean-spirited and rude for the hell of it was looked down upon. It was low-class and trashy. Maybe nobody could confront the schoolyard bully and the teachers’ attempts to control them were in vain. But once they were gone, nobody pretended they weren’t unpleasant to be around. Thinking back to a few of the bullying types I knew growing up, even though their cronies were upset when they dropped out, there were more than a few of us who were finally relieved to not have to hear them anymore.

I know high schoolers dropping out is a social issue with tragic root causes, but let’s be honest: mouthy jerks finally taking their ball home and never coming back is a relief for the rest of us who never wanted to be subjected to them in the first place.

We used to side eye the Karens berating the retail employees, and for a while “okay Karen” was a unifying cry on the internet against, well, the Karens. If standing up to abusive customers wasn’t an option, at least the person in line behind could be pleasant and pay the clerk a sincere compliment to offset the attack of the Karen.

We all recognized none of this behavior was pro-social, or tolerable, even if there wasn’t much we could do in the moment. It was the unspoken agreement among decent people (I’m not pretending abusive jerks are rare exceptions, by the way. There’s always going to be a few no matter where you are.)

But then around 2020, I really noticed a flip was switched. Granted, we could argue that people have been getting meaner over the last 10-15 years due to social media blurring boundaries between what’s transparent and what’s vulgar. We could blame the 2016 U.S. election, since the election did cause some pretty significant ideological shifts among the culture and how the opposing sides view each other.

Although with social media you can at least block accounts or filter what you see. Or get off of it entirely. For the folks who firmly placed their tents in one camp or the other following the 2016 election, there were still enough folks in the middle of the spectrum who could take an “agree to disagree” stance and chuckle at the fringe, while genuinely showing kindness and grace to their fellow man during daily life.

But then 2020 happened. The reason why I’m blaming 2020 for people becoming more mean-spirited is because: 1.) most of us were stuck in our houses cut off from people, either interacting virtually or not at all, and got way too used to not having to interact with people face-to-face, so manners could go out the window and not come back and 2.) With being stuck inside and a lack of human connection, what else could most of us do but doom-scroll the Internet, becoming convinced the world was going to hell in a handbasket? Constant doom and gloom would make anyone cynical and depressed, which would cause them to interact with other people through an impatient, combative lens because at that core level, they’re miserable within themselves.

Additionally, there was another side effect of 2020: the debates about who or what caused the pandemic, or whose fault it was that it went on almost two years turning people into condescending jerks. The folks who were anti-government mandates blamed the folks who were pro-mandates, and the folks in favor of mandates blamed those who weren’t for keeping it going. Both sides were convinced they were correct and the other was wrong, or stupid, or morally reprehensible. Has anyone else noticed that culturally, there’s that patronizing tinge folks are all-to-eager to take on when they’re talking to someone they think is dumber than them, whether it’s because they have a differing view of the world around them or choose to do a task in a particular way that makes sense to them?

It was as though 2020 convinced a lot of folks they were so correct about everything, and if someone else didn’t agree or see it the exact same way, it’s okay to talk to them like they’re stupid. It’s almost a competition as to who can make the snappiest little passive-aggressive snide comments on Instagram, or insisting they explain themselves – “help me understand” delivered in that condescending tone that really translates to “defend yourself to my liking” – during those bombarding street interviews YouTube likes. Even daily interactions now have to become so defensive, because you never know when you’ll have to clap back. It’s exhausting and really unnecessary.

So Reader-Friends, this is the observation that’s been weighing on me for a minute. Have you noticed any differences in how people interact with each other on a regular basis? Let me know what you think in the comments – I’m curious to read them.

Yours in life (and I promise I will write about running next time!)

Allison